The conflicts that James talks about here in chapter four are quarrels within the church, among believers. James is describing a condition where a church has come to a state of war, with open skirmishes breaking out among people. Sides have been chosen, positions have been dug in. In cases like this, believers have ceased being peacemakers; instead, they live in open antagonism toward one another. The word fights refers to battles with weapons, an armed conflict. It was used figuratively to indicate the struggle between powers, both earthly and spiritual.Obviously, disagreements will occur in every church. But when they happen, are we wise enough and mature enough to understand why? Do we know their source? When handled correctly, with godly wisdom, they can lead to growth. Sadly, however, some churches become permanent battlegrounds. New believers find themselves in a cross fire of arguments, resentments, and power struggles that may carry a veneer of spiritual truth, but are more often simply personal conflicts between people. In the process, innocent bystanders are sometimes deeply wounded. Many of us know people who have been alienated from the church because of a conflict that had nothing to do with the gospel. And what's the source of these arguments and fights?
Fights and quarrels are being caused, not by some external source, but by the people’s evil desires. When everyone seeks his or her own pleasure, only strife, hatred, and division can result. At war within suggests a raging battle fought between the desire to do good and the desire to do evil.
The craving described in this chapter becomes so strong that the people scheme and kill to get it. Instead of rethinking their desires, the people being described by James resort to jealousy, fights, quarrels, and worse. Yet, for all their anxious self-seeking and antagonism in getting what they want, they still can’t possess it.
Why? We learned (from getting our first tricycle or doll to driving our first new car) that fulfilled desires don’t satisfy at the level they advertise. Sometimes we actually do get just what we wanted, only to discover that we still do not have what we really needed—the deep contentment that only comes when we are right with God. Trusted alone, our desires will only lead us to the things of this earth and not to the things of God.
In summary, James’s message is: The reason you don’t have what you want is that you don’t ask God for it. In other words, “You don’t have what you desire because you don’t desire God.”
Almost as bad as not asking is asking wrongly. If we misunderstand the correct use of prayer, we might not pray at all, or we might attempt to manipulate God. Later, James makes it clear that, when we pray, we must humble ourselves before God, otherwise we will not be answered. People should not be surprised when their prayers go unanswered because often their whole motive is wrong. They were going to spend what they received on their pleasures. The people’s desires were so strong that they were fighting, quarreling, and then using prayer to get what they wanted. Their motives were not to help others, but to satisfy themselves.
SO WHAT? (what will I do with what I have read today?)
James gives some practical advice. James 3:18 says, "And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of goodness." James says, every day in every relationship, you're planting seeds. Seeds of anger, jealousy, peace, confidence, insecurity, many different kinds of seeds. So you will inevitable reap in your relationships. How can I plant seeds of peace? How can I be a peacemaker? How can I have peaceful relationships?
Wisdom. We need to learn how to be wise in the way we act toward people. Often we treat people in very foolish ways and we provoke the exact opposite behavior of what we would normally like to see in them.
Wisdom has more to do with character in relationships than it has to do with education and intelligence. Wisdom creates humility. Knowledge causes pride, but wisdom causes humility.
James gives us reminders about wisdom.
#1. I'M WISE I WILL NOT COMPROMISE MY INTEGRITY.
Proverbs 10:9 says, "The man of integrity walks securely." He's not afraid of being found out because he doesn't say one thing to one group and something else to another group. Someone said, "No man has a good enough memory to be an habitual liar." Eventually you're going to slip up. If you've got integrity you've got confidence, you walk securely in your relationships. You know you're not putting people on. If I am wise I will not compromise my integrity.
#2. IF I AM WISE I WILL NOT ANTAGONIZE YOUR ANGER.
I won't make you angry. Wise people work at maintaining harmony. They're not always looking for a fight. "Wisdom is peace loving." Have you ever met someone who is always arguing, always looking for a fight? I heard about one guy who was so argumentative he would only eat food that disagreed with him. If you're smart you don't antagonize people's anger. Proverbs 20:3 says, "Any fool can start arguments. The wise thing is to stay out of them."
#3. I WON'T MINIMIZE YOUR FEELINGS.
"Wisdom is considerate" and "considerate" means "mindful of the feelings of others". There is a common mistake that if I don't feel the way you feel then your feelings must be invalid or illogical or irrational or silly. James says, “Wise people are considerate; they don't minimize other people's feelings.” If I'm wise I will not minimize your feelings. I don't have to accept them but I can understand them. Proverbs 15:4 says, "Kind words bring life, but cruel words crush your spirit." Typically when we react to people's emotions we say things that hurt. Often we belittle the feeling. We put people down, or we play psychologist. "I know why you feel that way..." We're condescending toward people. James says if I'm wise in relationships I will not minimize your feelings. I'll be considerate.
#4. I WON'T CRITICIZE YOUR DECISIONS/SUGGESTIONS.
A wise person can learn from anybody. He's not defensive. He's open to reason. He's not stubborn. He's willing to listen and learn. Let me ask you today, are you a reasonable person? Can your kids reason with you? The Bible says if you're wise, you're reasonable. You're open to suggestions. "Don't confuse me with the facts; I've made up my mind. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you." A wise person does not antagonize your anger, does not minimize your feelings, and does not criticize your suggestions. Don't be defensive. Most of us are too oversensitive. If somebody makes a suggestion we take it as a personal criticism and we're defensive. James says that's dumb. A wise person can learn from anybody.
#5. IF I'M WISE I WON'T EMPHASIZE YOUR MISTAKES.
"Wisdom is full of mercy and good fruit." Do you jump on people every time they blunder, every time they make a fault and fumble it? Do you always use everybody in your family as the butt of your joke. That's dumb. Wisdom is full of mercy. I won't emphasize your mistakes. Do you ever let people go, or do you keep hounding them about their past mistakes? Do you hold them in leverage, and they never can be set free even if they have asked forgiveness? "Remember the time you did..." You're always holding on and bringing up the past for leverage. That's dumb. If I'm wise, I won't emphasize your mistake. I'll be full of mercy. I'll give you what you need, not what you deserve.
Proverbs 17:9 says, "Love forgets mistakes. Nagging about them parts even the best of friends." If you're wise you don't rub it in, you rub it out. You don't hold it over their heads. You forget it. When somebody stumbles, you don't judge them. You encourage them. We don't need judgement. We need encouragement when we stumble. Are you that way at home? If somebody forgets something -- forgets to fill the car with gas and you run out on the freeway, somebody forgets to bring the mail in -- how are you? Do you rub it in or do you rub it out? The wise thing is to not emphasize the mistake.
#6. IF I'M WISE, I WON'T DISGUISE MY OWN WEAKNESSES.
A mark of a wise person is they don't try to hide and disguise their own weaknesses. "Wisdom is impartial and sincere." James says if you're smart and wise, you're not phoney. You don't wear masks and try to be something you're not. I've said before, if you're perfect this is not the church for you. If you're going to wear masks this isn't the church for you. This is for real people, with real sins, real hang ups, real faults, real emotional problems, real family problems. Real wise people are honest and open. They're not phoney. They're genuine. They're real and authentic. "What you see is what you get" with a really wise person. They don't attain or pretend perfection. If I'm wise I'm not going to disguise my weaknesses. There are so many phony relationships today. People try to be something they're not. The number one place you can see this is singles' bars. Phony relationships. Where else in our society do you offer to buy something for a total stranger? Phony! Trying to be something you're not.
Proverbs 28:13 says, "You will never succeed in life if you try to hide your sins." It's dumb to pretend that you're perfect, that you've got it all together because nobody does. Will you ask God for this kind of wisdom today? Will you seek to become a peacemaker?
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