This passage contains my life verse: 3 John 4The children John was referring to were his spiritual children, the members of the Christian communities he served. John wrote of his “children” because he was the spiritual father. John’s joy came from hearing that the believers under his care were not straying from the gospel message but were living in the truth. To live in the truth means living out the truth by expressing it in one’s behavior. John had no greater joy than to see it happen in the life of one of his spiritual children.
Traveling teachers were probably sent from various churches to proclaim and teach the gospel. Because false teachers were infiltrating the churches, strong believers who taught the truth were very important. These traveling prophets, evangelists, and teachers were helped on their way by people like Gaius who housed and fed them. Finding good accommodations was very difficult for travelers who had no friends in the area. Inns were not very good places to stay. Hospitality from the believers was vital to the spread of the gospel. As noted in 2 John, however, the believers were not to show such hospitality to false teachers.
Gaius had been willing to open his home and take care of the traveling teachers who were passing through. He lovingly cared for these men who served the Lord, even when they were strangers to him. These teachers were partners in the truth and deserved to be helped. John called this a good work.
Hospitality is a lost art in many churches today. Christians would do well to invite more people for meals—fellow church members, young people, traveling missionaries, visitors, and the needy. This is an active and much-appreciated way to show Christian love.
The reason these teachers deserved help from believers was that they are traveling for the Lord. These were not merely Christian tourists; these people were traveling with a purpose—to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. That they would accept nothing from those who are not Christians means that they did not ask for support from nonbelievers because they didn’t want anyone questioning their motives for preaching.
When Christians support someone who is spreading the gospel, they are in a very real way partners with them for the truth. This is the other side of the principle in 2 John 1:10. Not everyone should go to the mission field; those who work for Christ at home are vital to the ministries of those who go and who need support. Believers can support missionaries by praying for them and by giving them money, hospitality, and time.
A man named Diotrephes had refused to acknowledge the apostle’s authority. Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, apparently refused to support these traveling preachers, thus snubbing John in the process. Diotrephes had an important position in the church but was blinded with pride and self-importance. He ignored the letter, perhaps even destroying it. This necessitated John’s writing this letter to Gaius so his words would be heard.
John would deal with Diotrephes personally if he were able to go to Gaius’s church. This verse explains some of what Diotrephes was doing. He apparently wanted to control the church. John denounced four errors of Diotrephes. First, he did not acknowledge the authority of other spiritual leaders. Second, he was saying wicked things about those leaders. The Greek word literally means “to talk nonsense.” Third, he refused to welcome the traveling teachers. He regularly refused to give hospitality to the brothers sent from John. Fourth, he was putting out of the church those who disagreed with him.
Diotrephes was trying to dominate the church and lord it over all the members—telling them who to receive and who not to receive. Gaius had apparently not listened to Diotrephes but had continued to be hospitable. For this, John commended him. Not only was Gaius doing what was right, he was doing it in the face of persecution from those in his own church.
Sins such as pride, jealousy, and slander are still present in the church; thus when a leader makes a habit of encouraging sin and discouraging right actions, he or she must be stopped. If no one speaks up, great harm can come to the church. John was prepared to publicly expose Diotrephes before the whole church.
In closing, John encouraged Gaius to not be influenced by Diotrephes’s bad example, but to instead follow only what is good—that is, to continue showing support and hospitality. Human beings are imitators by nature, but they must choose whom they will imitate. John encouraged Gaius to continue to follow what is good, for those who do good prove that they are God’s children.
SO WHAT? (what will I do with what i have read today?)
Let me ask you this morning - what gives you the greatest amount of joy? Whatever your answer, it will give you insight into what matters most in your life.
For Sharon and I, the most important thing in raising our four kids has always been and always will be their walk with the Lord. Nothing even comes close to this in terms of priority and importance. God has been faithful to work in our kids hearts and lives.
The Bible is very clear that the primary responsibility of raising children, helping them be prepared for life, is laid at the feet of parents. It's your responsibility. The moment you took part in a conception you got a job description. You took on a role.
Part of that job description is described in the next verse. Deuteronomy 6:7 "You must teach these commandments to your children and talk about them when you are at home or out for a walk, at bedtime and the first thing in the morning."
This verse says several things:
"You" -- this is not talking about the government, a preschool, a grade school, a private school, some club, even the church. It's talking about you if you're a parent. You are primarily responsible to prepare your kids for life and help them know God and walk with Him. This is your job, not some preschool or anybody else.
"Must" -- this is not optional. It's not, "if you have time for it you must do these things" or "It's ok whether you do them or not." It says "You must..." It's not optional.
"You must teach..." Parents are teaching all the time whether they realize it or not. If your kids are around you, you're teaching them sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally. They're watching every move. You're modeling, exampling, showing how to live. You are constantly teaching. The only question is, "What are you teaching?"
"You must teach these commandments" They are commandments, not suggestions. God didn't give us ten suggestions. He said these are commandments you are to do. As parents there are three areas we especially have to be concerned with in raising kids, helping prepare them for life.
#1. Relationships. For better or for worse, your happiness in life is determined by your relationships. If you know how to relate to people, if you know how to get along with people, you're probably going to be happy a good percentage of your life. If you don't know how to get along, if you don't know how to relate to people, you're going to be miserable most of your life. One of the most important skills the family teaches is how to relate.
Right or wrong, the way you relate to other people you picked up those skills growing up. Sometimes people grow up in dysfunctional homes and you have to relearn later on how to relate to people because you never learned to relate to people in the right way. You didn't learn how to resolve conflict. You either blew up or clammed up. You do different kinds of inappropriate behaviors so you have to relearn. So as parents we have to teach and we have to model basic things about relationships.
Good relationships don't just happen. You don't just have a good marriage. You don't just have a good friendship. It takes time, it takes work. Relationships have to be built. They are built on things like truthfulness, honesty and vulnerability. It takes communication. You cannot have a relationship without communication. It takes authenticity. It takes massive doses of forgiveness to build a healthy relationship. Because you're going to be hurt and you're going to hurt others. Sometimes intentionally. Sometimes unintentionally. We have to teach our kids how to resolve conflict. They need to see not only when you as a parent have a conflict with your spouse, but how you resolve it. We need to teach relationships.
#2. Character. Character is formed in the home. What is character? Character is the sum total of your choices and your habits. As you help your kids develop good habits, they develop good character. If they don't develop good habits, they're not going to have good character no matter what you say. Character is more caught than it is taught. You have to model that.
#3. Values. What's really important in life. Whether you realize it or not, your kids are always picking up values from you, whether you teach them formally or not. They're picking up, by just watching you, they're seeing what's really important in your life. Regardless of what you say is important, the way you spend your time and the way you spend your money is what's really important to you. They pick up values in the family. Values about work, about life, about money, about time, about sex, about other people, about the world, about the future, about what's really important, about God. Those values are constantly being communicated and picked up one way or the other.
I know you've heard people say, "I'm not going to impose my spiritual values on my kids. I'm going to let them decide for themselves." Baloney! What that basically says is "God is an option." He is not an option. You are hurting your kids if you say God is an option. As long as they are under your roof, you have the right to impose on them certain standards. When they're out on their own, of course they have to make their own decision. But if you don't force your kids to go to church, where do you think they'll get their values? At school? When you say, "I'm not going to impose my values on my kids" what you're doing is abdicating your authority as a parent. And you're abdicating it to the television. Television is the number one purveyor of values today.
Only 12% of grade school kids frequently talk to their parents, particularly their fathers, about personal concerns.
When they become teenagers, only 8% of fathers talk to their teenagers about premarital sex. Only 15% of mothers talk to their teenagers about premarital sex. No wonder we've got teenage pregnancies going rapid today.
By the time a child is 18, on television, he or she has seen over 100,000 sexual liaisons on television. Ninety-one percent of all sex on tv is portrayed as sex outside of marriage. I call that brainwashing. Over a course of one year, prime time tv depicts over 1400 incidences of sex, over 2300 incidences of profanity, over 8000 incidences of severe violence. It's a great source of miseducation. What's happened as a result? Just pick up the paper. We've got grade schoolers taking guns to school and killing each other. Where did that come from?
The Bible says one day we're all going to be judged before God and give an account of our lives. Those of us who are parents will give an account of our parenting roles. Did we care enough to say, this is right and this is wrong, because most kids don't know right from wrong today. Society certainly doesn't know the difference.
In each of these areas I'm going to ask you to evaluate yourself. From one to ten, how would you rate yourself in preparing kids for life if you're a parent. Ask yourself, "What am I teaching? About money? About time? About God? About sex?" What am I teaching unintentionally by my lifestyle? Am I teaching workaholism?
I suggest that you be more intentional. Make a list of the values you think are important, that you value. Then start intentionally sharing those, making sure those come up in the conversation with your kids. Don't just let it go haphazard. Because it's not true that all you need is love. You need wisdom.
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